I am so non-functional. This shoulder thing is a serious thorn. Add my right bicep tendinitis from overuse, and I am pretty useless at times. I think I am getting closer, but it has been a long road.
The pinnacle of my non-functionality was not when my wife repeatedly took the heavy bags for me (thou that can be hard to swallow), I think back to Bush Gardens eight weeks ago, and how she carried the kids for me then… Still not the worst of my non functionality. Nope. That came this week.
I was up in Cashiers NC at the High Hampton Inn. Some of you remember Faith who worked for me for awhile. Now she runs the Spa at this resort in the mountains, and I was the guest speaker for bunch of women who came in from Texas, for a wellness retreat (more on that later). So I had some free time between workshops, and at one point we ran off to Lake Glenville and rented a boat. Our goal was to see a couple of the three waterfalls that directly feed this lake, and to pull the kids around on a tube, battering their spines enough to require some adjustments and to thoroughly tire them out!
The lake is beautiful, make it a point to go up to this region and see this lake at some point in your life. So we were at a waterfall, and the girls wanted to get on the tube. Fearful for how cold the water might be, I decided to jump in first and test the water, then have them get in and get used to it. It was freezing, but became enjoyable after a few minutes, despite the sub 70 degree mountain air temp. After ten minutes I was ready to get out and Ansley was ready to tube.
This is where the fun starts. See, the ladder at the back of the boat was broken, there was no other rear platform, so the lowest place to climb on the boat was the side door on the front platform, over a pontoon. I looked up and thought “no big deal, I can do one armed pull ups with no buoyancy, this should be easy. I launched up and grabbed the rail, started to pull, then a stab of excruciating pain through my bicep. Splash.
I regrouped, considered how I could get a leg up, then pull with my arm and leg. Sadly, the space was too narrow for me to get my leg up while holding the rail. As I sat contemplating my next move, Laura finished getting the tube ready, came over and smirked at me… “so you’re stuck, aren’t you?” “Yep.” She had to pull me up by grabbing my life jacket, and hauling me up, while I pretty much did nothing.
My wife could be heard laughing at me as I laid in a pile of useless flesh. Hardly able to push myself up to standing after this episode.
This is the opposite of function. I have commented in the past how I would insure my family survive any home fire, as I have the strength and skill to carry them down the outside of my house to safety. Right now, not so.
I am so functionless it is ridiculous. Function. The ability to do what life demands of you with no incapacity. This is my best definition of function. If you are absent any function in any area, the best advice is to work on it. Simple.
I need to rest my bicep and shoulder until function returns. Without it, there is not much opportunity in life. With it, you have opportunity to live this life to the fullest. Our efforts are based around the idea of function. Function of your organs, your muscles, your skeleton, your mind. All of our efforts are driven towards function. Take the time to draw near to us, as we work to draw you closer to the function that God has ordained for you. Be well and blessed… more love coming next week!
Dr. E