I had recently figured out that I have given 375,000 adjustments over my career. Pretty cool, made me feel a little confident in myself. But where confidence is ok, pride is not.. and that is a slippery slope.
How often we get a little pinch of pride, and how often that pride will be used against us. I think about the gym. A CrossFit gym is a place of great testing for those who choose to push, and to press on. What I love about it, is that at some point, the demand on the body will become very humbling. Especially if you are competitive. Find yourself laying in a pile of sweat on the verge of vomiting, and you start to realize how little we really are.
Likewise, I believe pride in anything will become haunting. It is simply the way we are put in our place by God. We become prideful, he becomes punishing, life becomes painful (in some capacity).What a perfect circle.
So then, how to guard that? I found myself feeling prideful that our practice has seen so many people, but was quickly reminded of the troubles that we have faced along the way. I have often poured out my experience in our stress management workshop. Explaining how the pride of my early years got me in trouble. We grew so fast we were growing beyond our means. What a mess. It was all my plan, not God’s. The reminder is valuable, it sits heavy with me. If you have those historical stories, I would ask you to keep them front and center.
I told a patient tonight, that the beauty of seeing this many people over the years, is confidence, confidence which then allows me to be at peace, and to invite God to guide my hands, to guide my heart and to allow me to be a vessel which He works through, and thus he gives us opportunity in the form of new patients. And we grow further, and then we have more people we take care of, and have the opportunity to serve. I know this is the truth that I live more often, as I stay in nearly constant prayer through my adjusting hours. But I also know, pride is one of my major issues, I don’t know why for certain, but i know it is true.
However C.S. Lewis said it best. Not thinking less of yourself, but just thinking about yourself less. Very well said.
I ask you to humble yourself, be merciful and kind. Love others as you have been called to do, and you will be blessed for sure. I am looking forward to a day of adjusting, and getting myself right.
Be well and be blessed! – Dr. E