Take note husbands, this one is all for you, as I continue spinning value from the stories inspired by my time with Steve Tengzelius. This motivation came partly from him, and the speakers at his funeral service. In addition, some discussion my wife and I have had recently about other couples, just watched “War Room” finally and bam! We have something meaningful to write about.
I was commenting on Steve’s life as a guy who would give it all away. I honestly think he could have gone through life, not earning anything, as he would have been willing to do all that he did as a humble servant emulating Jesus. This, is by far, the most admirable trait you will ever see in somebody, when they have “changed their permanent residence to Heaven”, and you are reflecting on their life.
This is perhaps the point that I got stuck on, because I, as a man with career goals, have a hard time with this. As I scanned the crowd of people gathered at the funeral; I though about how many other men in that crowd were like me. Hard working, dedicated, strong income and earnings… givers, don’t get me wrong, these men still give plenty away. But they, I, this group of US tend to give our money away so much easier than our time.
In the movie War Room, the main character’s husband, is the antagonist. Tearing down his family because of his significant focus on his job, and the feeling that he wasn’t being supported in that pursuit. When the reality was that his career was all he was pursuing. I recall the day I called my wife from a weekend retreat, where I realized that I was lying to my wife. Telling her, “I am cutting back, I will be cutting back”, when at the time I was simply adding to it all. A new office every six months, and more employees, more meetings, more everything. It was then that I realized that staying busy is more of my calling, and BALANCE was the calling i needed to answer.
Busy but balanced.
Balance is a tough thing. My wife and I were talking about how when she spends times with “the girls” whomever they might be, she never feels like she has the same experience. They will talk about how their husband does this and that, or how they never do this or that… something that bothers them. She would come home and tell me how happy she is that she doesn’t have those complaints. I never, in the moment, remind her of the complaints she has. But I really see the direct impact of a lack of balance.
Those times, it is not like she is saying, or I am hearing “Honey, you are just perfect.” On the contrary, she is saying, “the things that are important to me, you have figured out”. She likes that I stay focused on health, that I have found a way to balance my focus on my fitness, that I help with the house and the kids, that I prefer to be a family man, with a desire to take family vacations, that we don’t do girls trips or guys trips. We would both rather be together than apart.
These are the things that are balanced in my life.
Now, If we could all simply add more willingness to give, to do, to love and to serve.
My brother Steve might have been criticized for not “having” enough while he was with us here… yet now, taking his mountain of service deeds to Heaven with him, he might just be the richest man I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.
Be well and Be Blessed. – Dr. E